Should Have Covered Your Stump
by DoctorImDrowningInSexyFootwear
Summary: Damon was forced to take the cure to survive and Elena was never a vampire. Not used to having to use protection, Damon gets Elena pregnant within a day. This is the story of that pregnancy and child. Co-written by imdrowninginfootwear and Doctor Sexy.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This story is set during season 4. Elena is still human and she and Jeremy live with the Salvatores.**

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"I'm pregnant you ass!" Elena shouted as she walked back into her and Damon's bedroom where he was lying on their bed.

"What?" Damon asked, genuinely confused. "How is that even possible?"

"You aren't a vampire anymore, moron!" Elena screamed.

"Thanks for bringing that up," Damon muttered sarcastically.

Ever since Damon had taken the cure in order to save his own life, the whole human thing had been a sore subject. He had tried to convince Stefan to turn him several times, but his younger brother had been less than sympathetic while giving Damon a whole speech about how it was a second chance at living. Damon had gone to every vampire the he knew of in town with no success. It turned out that no one wanted to turn Damon back whether it was because they thought that it was a curse or because they thought that it was too funny to have Damon as a human.

"You asked how I could be pregnant," Elena pointed out. "You're human now. You can have kids."

A look of realization crossed Damon's face as he finally realized what she had meant.

"Oh," Damon said quietly. "So you're actually-"

"Yes, I'm actually pregnant," Elena interrupted in an exasperated tone. "What, did you think that I was lying?"

"Ummm," Damon said, knowing that there was no right answer to that question. "I thought that maybe it was a joke?"

"Oh God," Elena let out as a realization came over her. "I'm going to be that girl that got pregnant in high school. I _am_ that girl that got pregnant in high school. I knew that I was late, but I didn't think that I was really going to be pregnant when I took the test."

Damon saw the look on Elena's face and could tell that she was panicking even more than she wanted to let on.

"Maybe you should sit down," Damon suggested as he moved to sit up.

"I don't want to sit down," Elena told him. "…Damon, there's a baby inside of me."

"Well not _exactly_," Damon began, but quickly shut up when Elena glared at him. "Sorry."

Damon slowly got up off of the bed, slowly was the only way that he did anything since he had become a human again, and walked over to her.

"How am I going to tell everyone?" Elena asked. "Most people still aren't happy that we're together. They are not going to react well."

"Who cares what other people think about us?" Damon asked as he pulled Elena into a tight embrace.

"I do," Elena told him. "I don't want everybody judging us."

"That's their problem, not ours," Damon pointed out.

"I don't want to be the pregnant girl at school," Elena told him.

"I probably wouldn't either," Damon agreed.

Elena began to laugh into his chest.

"What?" Damon asked.

"I'm just picturing you pregnant and with girl hair," Elena responded.

"I look hot, right?" Damon asked her.

"Sure," Elena comforted him in a not very convincing tone.

"What? I couldn't pull off being a girl?" Damon asked.

"The way that I'm picturing it you have the same face and clothes, but other than that you're a girl," Elena responded. "And I don't think that you could pull off the whole pregnant thing even if you could pull of being a girl."

"Well I _know_ that you'll be able to pull of the pregnant thing," Damon told her. "You look good no matter what."

Although Damon was internally panicking over what they had just found out, he knew that one of them had to remain calm about it… At least on the outside.

"I'm sure that I'll look real great with a giant stomach," Elena responded sarcastically.

"You will," Damon told her before kissing her.

"This is your fault you know," Elena pointed out. "You didn't tell me that you had taken the cure until after we had already had unprotected sex."

"I was dead for a long time," Damon defended. "I've long since forgotten about the idea of being able to get anyone pregnant."

"I'm going to tell everyone that you're too stupid to use a condom," Elena threatened as she pulled away from his embrace. "So that they all know that this is your fault."

Damon suddenly realized that Elena's voice had very quickly switched from teasing to annoyed as soon as she had mentioned that it was his fault.

"You're mad at me," He realized out loud.

"Really?" Elena said, pretending to be shocked by that new information. "I wonder why."

"I'm sorry," Damon told her honestly.

"No offense, but sorry doesn't make me not pregnant," She pointed out. "So it isn't exactly good enough."

"So you want to..?" Damon trailed off since he knew that it was not a good subject to be bringing up and that it would probably only make her angrier.

"No," Elena responded. "I'm not going to get rid of it, but that doesn't mean that I'm exactly thrilled with the situation either."

"Stefan never would have gotten you pregnant," Damon muttered under his breath. "Even if he was human… He would have remembered to use a condom."

"This isn't about Stefan," Elena said with a frown. "This is about us. It's your baby, Damon."

"I know," He responded. "But maybe you picked the wrong brother."

"No, I didn't," Elena insisted. "I love you, even if you are an idiot. And it's not like I'm going to change my mind now and go raise the baby with Stefan."

"Well he would make a way better dad," Damon pointed out casually.

"No," Elena told him. "I'm not leaving you. And even if he did play the role of the father, it's not like you wouldn't be around all the time anyways. I bet that you'll be a good father."

"Based off of what?" Damon asked skeptically.

"I know that you'll do anything to protect our baby," Elena told him.

Damon just shrugged in response.

There was a brief silence before Elena spoke up once again.

"I don't want to have to get all new clothes for when I get fat," Elena complained.

Jeremy walked into the doorway, causing Damon to mentally curse about not being able to hear him coming with his stupid human ears. Damon hadn't even known that he was back home, let alone that he was upstairs.

"What's going on?" Jeremy asked. "What are you two talking about? Why is Elena going to get fat?"

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**A/N: Please read and review! This account is shared by both imdrowninginfootwear and Doctor Sexy, so all stories are co-written. We agreed on two very general plot ideas (for this one and a story called Friday the 15th) and are now switching off for who updates each chapter without being able to discuss what will happen next or have any control over what the other writes. This chapter was written by imdrowninginfootwear. I hope that you liked the first chapter and thanks for reading! :)**


	2. Chapter 2

_"What's going on?" Jeremy asked. "What are you two talking about? Why is Elena going to get fat?" _

"Elena isn't going to get fat," Damon said, sitting back down on the end of the bed. "How dare you say that about your sister?"

"But she just said..." Jeremy said still hovering in the doorway.

"I'm pregnant, Jer," Elena said, taking a seat on the bed next to Damon.

"Good job, Damon. You're a jackass," Jeremy said.

"What makes you think Damon's the father?" Elena asked smirking.

"What?" Damon and Jeremy said simultaneously. There faces were incredulous.

"Of course you're the father, idiot!" Elena said. "Who else have I had unprotected sex with?"

"You know you really should have covered your stump before you humped," Jeremy mused.

"Covered my stump before I humped?" Damon asked. "What are you in fifth grade?"

"Jeremy, you're going to be an uncle," Elena said happily.

"Why are you suddenly happy that you're pregnant?" Damon asked.

"I don't know, I'm _pregnant_. I'm a little emotional!" Elena said.

"Great nine months of this," Damon said.

"Don't you talk to my sister that way!" Jeremy said.

"Why does he have to live here?" Damon asked.

"Because he's my brother and he's an orphan, jackass!" Elena said, hitting Damon on the back of the head.

"Okay, okay!" Damon said rubbing his head with one hand. As he was a human now, it actually hurt a little. "I was joking."

"Fine," Elena said. "Now how are we going to tell people?"

"Mass text?" Jeremy suggested.

"I don't think anyone would believe that," Elena said. "I have to tell Bonnie first."

"Great, we have to tell the witch? She's going to kill me," Damon said.

"I'm sure she won't kill you," Elena said. "I mean literally. Figuratively, she is going to kill you."

"Well, let's get it over with then," Damon suggested.

Elena pulled out her cell phone and dialled Bonnie's number. "Hey Bonnie, it's Elena. Damon and I kinda of have some news and we were hoping you would come over."

"Oh, God," Bonnie replied. "You aren't getting married, are you?"

"No," Elena said. "God, no."

"Hey," Damon said overhearing. "Why is that such a terrible idea?"

"Damon one thing at a time, please," Elena said.

"Okay, I'll be over in a few," Bonnie said.

Twenty minutes later, Bonnie knocked on the door. Elena answered. "Hey, Bonnie. Come in, have a seat."

"Is one of you dying?" Bonnie guessed.

"No," Elena reassured her. She walked Bonnie over to the couch where Damon was already sitting. Bonnie took a seat next to Damon, glaring at him.

"So tell me, what's this big news you've been waiting to tell me?" Bonnie asked.

"Maybe we could just not tell her," Damon suggested. "Maybe we could move to Europe and not have to deal with this."

"Damon, I'm not moving to another continent away from all my friends because of this," Elena said.

"Well you're the one who doesn't want to go to high school anymore!" Damon said.

"You don't want to go to high school anymore?" Bonnie asked, a frown forming on her face. "Elena you can't just drop out of high school. I mean even with everything going on, you need to do things normal teenagers do with their lives."

Elena sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose, feeling a headache coming on. Did that have to do with being pregnant? She was only a week late, but her lower back already ached. She did not look forward to all the other symptoms that she would undoubtedly experience over the next nine months.

"Alright then," Damon said. "Go ahead and tell her."

"Well," Elena said biting her lip. "We're pregnant."

"_We _are not pregnant," Damon said. "_You _are pregnant. There is no baby inside me."

"Oh my God," Bonnie said. "You're kidding, right?"

"Unfortunately, no," Elena said. "It's all Damon's fault. He was too stupid to wear a condom after taking the cure."

"Why didn't you make him?" Bonnie asked. "You're better than that Elena."

"I didn't know he had taken the cure," Elena said, defending herself.

"You're an idiot," Bonnie said, glaring at Damon. "How hard is it to wear a condom?"

"I forgot!" Damon whined. "It's been over a century since I had to worry about knocking someone up."

Elena rolled her eyes. "You sure know how to pick them," Bonnie said.

"Hey, be nice to Damon," Elena said. "We're going to be raising a kid together."

"You and Damon are actually going to raise a kid?" Bonnie asked. "Together?"

"Why is that so hard to believe?" Damon asked.

"I have to see this," Bonnie said. "Can you imagine Damon as a parent?'' Bonnie pictured it in her head. It mainly consisted of Damon refusing to change diapers and not knowing what to do when the baby cried. Elena pictured it, too, imagining Damon holding the baby and singing him or her to sleep. Elena smiled. "What are you smiling about?" Bonnie asked.

"Nothing," Elena said. "I'm just sure Damon's going to be an excellent father."

Damon shifted uncomfortably on the couch. "Don't get your hopes up," he said.

"Don't get her hopes up about what?" Stefan asked entering the living room.

"Nothing, absolutely nothing," Bonnie said.

"No seriously," Stefan said. "What's going on?"

"Should we tell him?" Elena asked Damon.

"I think it would really go better if you were the one telling him," Damon said.

"Really? Because I think that would be much worse," Elena said.

"He's not going to kill you," Damon pointed out. "He seriously might kill me."

"Now, I'm worried," Stefan said frowning. "What's going on?"

"I'm pregnant," Elena said.

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**A/N: This chapter was written by Doctor Sexy. Please review and be sure to check out the other fanfiction imdrowninginfootwear and I are writing entitled Friday the 15th. Thanks for reading. :)**


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